by Amanda Rabago

Student Life Section

Writing for humor

Manor blog

One thousand people reside in the LG Blossom Manor. These are their stories.

January 15, 2012

momoftwinz@gmail.com

2:35 pm

Dear Neighbors,

Some girls are walking down the street knocking on doors. They are wearing green vests and skirts, most likely a cult. After three knocks I asked them what they wanted from behind the door. They said something about selling cookies, but I never opened my door. Watch out for cults walking down the street. Sheriff has been called.

From,

Laurie Nerves on Oleander

January 17, 2012

flowers4lyfe@aol.com

5:27 pm

Dear Manor residents,

As you know every year my husband, my two hamsters, and I travel to Morocco to collect our precious rocks. We have begun to display the exquisite, valuable rock collection out in our front yard. You are welcome to browse and photograph our rocks, but please DON’T TOUCH. We will notice smudges and test for fingerprints if you pick up the rocks. Enjoy the new scenery!

Sincerely,

 Daisy Fonder on Lilac

January 18, 2012

flowers4lyfe@aol.com

10:52 pm

Hi again neighbors,

I have noticed some scavenging in my rock collection. This is not O.K. I have put up warning signs and cameras around my rock garden. I WILL find out who goes through my rocks. I have begun watching my video stream 24 hours a day. Don’t try to steal my rocks.

Sincerely,

Daisy Fonder on Lilac

January 19, 2012

watchoutforweirdos@comcast.net

1:32 pm

To whom it may concern,

Someone rang my doorbell this afternoon. It was an unusually loud doorbell ring, so I decided not to answer the door. I looked through my binoculars, the ones that I use to spy on my neighbors and was able to see the man at my door. From what I saw he was 6 feet 4.3 in, tan in color, with a dirty blond bowl hair cut. He had a dark freckle on the right side of his lower cheek, five pieces of hair growing from his upper lip, and one of his ears was slightly lower than the other. Through the door he told me he was bringing around a petition to begin a neighborhood recycle group. He must have been lying because when he rang the doorbell it was far too loud and suspicious. Keep your children inside and safe or else this man may hurt them with his extremely strong, forceful finger. The sheriff has been notified.

Best,

Lily Lock-em-up on Azalea

January 20, 2012

clorexdaddio@me.com

9:46pm

Dear Blossom Manor,

I have noticed that someone is placing their dog fecal matter into my trashcans. I would much rather you leave the dog poop on my lawn. Please stop cleaning up the excrement.

 From,

Fred Manure on Camelia Terrace

**all stories based on true posts from the actual Blossom Manor Blog